


Learn

by Abandoning_The_Crown



Series: A Jedi and a Purge Trooper [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Fights, Gen, Minor Violence, POV Second Person, Planet Bracca (Star Wars), Reader is a Purge Trooper, Sad Ending, can be read as platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29188377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abandoning_The_Crown/pseuds/Abandoning_The_Crown
Summary: You taught him how to survive. He taught you how to feel.A fair exchange.
Relationships: Cal Kestis & Reader, Cal Kestis/Reader
Series: A Jedi and a Purge Trooper [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2090337
Comments: 17
Kudos: 34





	Learn

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy, friends!

_'Cause they will run you down, down 'til you fall_

_Oh, way down we go*_

* * *

There were always more important things to do other than following your heart.

You held him right there, at gunpoint - in the cold, merciless rain, with droplets beating down on his pale, terrified face. Your finger rested against the trigger of your rifle, firm and ready; your mind screamed to shoot him right there and then, watch the life drip from his eyes, just like those tears that slipped down his cheeks. The nasty scar running from his neck and cutting into the soft skin up to the bridge of his nose told a story that you refused to hear; a story of a broken life, ripped from his small, trembling hands.

 _Maker._ He was just a child.

" _Please,_ " he spoke, voice strained and filled with desperation that shouldn't have been present in a kid's mind. He gazed up at you from the ground, completely soaked in the nonstop rain, shuddering. He was so frail, so weak. You stayed on Bracca long enough to know that the scrappers were paid little to nothing.

You hesitated. Your eyes dropped to the kid's belt, and you considered the glistening lightsaber hanging off a leather loop under the thin coat marked with screaming orange - a color that would probably stick to him for the rest of his life.

Your mind told you to report this in. He was in no condition to fight - starved, scared. _Just a kid._

You were a kid once. Before you were marked by the red and black symbol imprinted onto the pauldron resting against your shoulder, imprinted onto your very soul. Devotion. Discipline. Obedience.

Your heart told you to lower your weapon.

_And you did._

His eyes widened, and he hardly choked back a sob that threatened to slip past his mouth - looked at you in disbelief, like a tiny, caged animal.

You slowly approached him. He moved away, small hand reaching for his lightsaber on instinct, but you stopped him with a bark of short, harsh: " **Stay down.** "

He let you come closer. Wet ginger hair clung to his cheeks and his forehead, water dripped down his face - you heard raindrops clatter quietly against the dark duraplast of your armor, drumming a song that you couldn't hear.

The Jedi could. They lived in supposed balance, before the Purge happened. The Empire called it disorder. Terrified sympathizers of the Jedi Order used to call it harmony.

You kneeled before him. Placed your rifle on the ground, out of your reach; it was a risk, but somehow, you knew that the kid wouldn't attack you. He watched you carefully, sniffling, bright eyes glued to your sleek, unfeeling mask. You've been hiding behind it for a while.

That part of the scrapyard was silent. Nobody was around, no witnesses to that random, confusing encounter.

With one quick motion, you clipped your waterproof kama off your belt and carefully draped it over the kid's shoulders. He whimpered, expecting you to hurt him, but you did no such thing; after making sure that he held the material so that it won't slip off him, you inched a bit further away and stared at the boy. He stared back.

"You will be captured if you're not vigilant," you spoke, quietly; he stilled, listening to you intently. "Therefore you must learn to survive." the kid nodded eagerly, and you continued, carefully choosing your words: "Do _not_ stand out, because my kind will hunt you down. Accept your past, you can't change it. And most importantly-"

" _How's the situation in the west part? Over._ "

The kid flinched. You fished the comlink out of your pant pocket and pressed the button to speak. "Nothing alarming so far. I am heading back. Over."

" _Affirmative. Seems like it was a false alarm._ "

You paused. "Go back to the ship. I'll join you shortly. Over."

" _Ten-four._ "

You took your rifle and got up, water splashing under your boots when you started walking.

"What's the third rule?"

Your feet came to a stop. You looked over your shoulder, finding the kid already up, clenching so tightly onto the edges of your belt cape that his knuckles turned white. He watched you with furrowed brows, completely focused on your tall, imposing form.

After a moment of thoughtful silence, you turned slightly, tilting your helmet as you finally replied: "Trust no one."

The kid said nothing to that. The pure, unadulterated awe swimming in his eyes made you still for a moment, heart catching in your throat. You left without another word.

The new, unfamiliar feeling corrupting you that day was pity.

* * *

The Second Sister was unusually active. Giddy with anticipation - you could see it in the occasional twitch of her gloved fingers as she moved from her TIE interceptor, strikingly intimidating.

The scrappers were pulled off the train. You stared up into the sky, into the endless rain; it was cold, you noted absentmindedly. You wanted nothing more than to take your helmet off your face and feel the water drip down your skin.

A feeling of deja vu resurfaced. You looked back towards the train, and met someone's eyes.

His wet ginger hair clung to his face. Bright eyes widened upon landing on you, startled; he halted to a stop in front of you, holding his breath.

He had grown. Same height as you, wider in shoulders - face a bit more mature, gaze sharper, smarter. You stared at him in silence, and he immediately averted his eyes as he passed by.

Your heart stuttered in your chest. Why didn't he leave Bracca all those years ago? He stayed, and made a mistake, a grave mistake that served as a solid lead for the Second Sister. She came into view like a ferocious hound, impatience rolling off her in waves; you walked forward, eyeing each and every worker in the line. All nervous. All looking at you and your fellow Purge Troopers, as if you could tell them what was going on.

The Second Sister took pleasure in murdering the Abednedo male, the Jedi's friend. The air flashed with blue when he attacked, plasma buzzing eagerly as it cut through the rain - hissing like a snake the moment it clashed against a worthy, blood-tinted opponent.

You weren't sure if he survived the fall.

The Second Sister returned soon after, fuming with raw, destructive rage, dark armor battered and bruised.

The new, unfamiliar feeling taking hold of you that day was hope.

* * *

You were sent off. The Second Sister trusted you with taking care of a certain red-headed problem that was spotted inside of the caves on Ilum.

The Jedi was filled with determination. His split lightsaber cut through the other Purge Troopers with such ease that it made you nervous; you stepped over the armor-clad corpses, chasing him down - he was making a run for the exit, but you have managed to cut him off.

He was very skilled. Your rifle overheated, you could feel the burn even through the gloves. Defenseless, you decided to dodge until your weapon cooled off again, but the Jedi was smart.

It came down to you avoiding his attacks and attempting to land blows using the butt of the rifle - at some point, the Jedi even went down, one hand flying up to touch the back of his head, along with the tiny BD unit droid booping in panic on his shoulder.

He lunged at you. You blocked the attack with your rifle, sparks flying as it was cut into two, right through the middle; your foot kicked at the Jedi's knee, and he dropped to the ground.

" **Stay down!** " you growled, hardly managing to keep the shake from your voice. Your fingers clasped tightly around the handle of a vibroblade as you planted your feet firmly onto the snow.

He paused. Then he looked up, managing to meet your eyes even through the dark visor - and breathed a stunned sound. He slowly stood up, and you took a careful step back.

After a long moment of silence, he spoke. "You?"

You lowered your blade. "You learned."

The Jedi stared at you in disbelief. "It's really you."

There were shouts coming from somewhere behind you. Sounds of footsteps and crackling of comlinks - you looked back, blood pumping loud in your ears. "Go. Get out of here."

"I-"

"Go." you repeated, now looking down at the sharp, glistening blade. "You will be fine."

He started running. You plunged the vibroblade into the unprotected space underneath the marked shoulder pauldron and fell onto the snow.

The new, unfamiliar feeling exploding in your chest that day was regret.

* * *

He went back to Bogano.

The Second sister was seething. The Jedi was becoming stronger with each obstacle she placed in his way, and it made her tremble with anger. She was laughing quietly to herself, a strained, bitter sound, so very unfitting for a powerful Inquisitor.

She did not come alone. A large number of Imperial soldiers, of all ranks and classes, surrounded the Vault - dozens of weapons were at the ready, waiting for the right moment to strike. The Jedi stood no chance against all of them.

You followed the Second Sister in upon her command. 

The confrontation that followed wasn't pretty. The two of you attacked him - you stayed a bit further off, shooting at the Jedi and missing on purpose; the Second Sister used all strength she had left, calling out for the darkest feelings lurking in her heart to reawaken and fuel her blind rage - you were momentarily stunned when she used the Force to push the Jedi away, the impact making you stumble backwards.

He fought with honor. The Second Sister did not.

The glare she sent you screamed of an order. You felt the pressure building up in your mind, pounding against your skull; you stepped into the fight, taking the Jedi by surprise - he fell to the floor, paralyzed by the shock grenade you threw at him, and so did the Second Sister, struck by the buzzing plasma of his lightsaber that was thrown forward, burning through her clothing and leaving sizzling orange marks.

You held him right there, at gunpoint - and once again, you hesitated. " **Stay down.** " you begged, desperation making its way into your voice, expressing an urgency that made him look up at you. Recognition flashed across his features, and he reached out for you - you wanted nothing more than to catch his hand in both of yours and press it to your heart, let him calm the wounds that were unable to heal. Let him _save_ you.

The Second Sister growled, low and mad, one single word slipping into the heavy air from her blood-stricken lips: " _ **Traitor!**_ "

Blue and red clashed against each other, but the Jedi was not her primary objective anymore. The Inquisitor threw him off herself with renewed energy, and in a blink of an eye, she was before you, dull green eyes staring straight into yours as she drove her lightsaber deep into your ribcage; you felt it go through, heat buzzing in your very spine.

You heard the Jedi shout a loud, pained " _No!_ ", but you kept on staring at the Second Sister, mind completely blank, body numb.

She kicked you backwards, and you found that you were unable to get back up. Your trembling hands automatically went up to cover the bleeding wound in your chest, and you blew a hissing, shaky breath.

The Second Sister disappeared - so did the holocron; all the Jedi had left was a double-bladed lightsaber and a vision of agony that forced him to his knees. You could feel his pain, but it was most likely your very own - life draining from your body like the blood that mixed with the green-tinted water covering the floor. Your eyes started to close.

And then he was right next to you, holding you in his arms, shaking you with urgency. Your helmet came off with a loud hiss - you breathed unfiltered air, and a faint smile made its way onto your face.

"Don't go," he pleaded, warm hand caressing your cheek, wiping away the blood that trickled from your mouth. "Please, don't go."

You could see him in your mind's eye - bruised and weary, with sparkling eyes and a kind heart that he wore on his sleeve.

And then you saw a kid, scared and trembling, soaked in the rain, holding onto your kama. Holding tightly onto a piece of you that you left with him that day.

You taught him how to survive. He taught you how to feel.

A fair exchange. You leaned into his touch, lips parting to whisper a slow, shaky:

" _Thank... you._ "

The new, unfamiliar feeling rooting deep into your barely beating heart the day you died was joy.

**Author's Note:**

> * Kaleo - Way Down We Go  
> You ever write a chapter for a story and suddenly you get an idea for an entirely new work? Attention span -100.  
> Thank you for reading, please leave a heart if you enjoyed my work, as it really motivates me!  
> Until next time! <3


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